Sunday, December 15, 2013

A joke from IanO

A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, I am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother, have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'
The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher, 
'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Hell to Pay - Jenny Thomson

An unputdownable read!

I had been out of the habit of reading books but decided to read Hell to Pay while on holiday after not having read a book for over a year. I started it mid morning and the next thing I knew was that it was starting to get dark outside and I had read the whole book in one sitting and was thirsty and hungry!

Do not read this book on a train as you will miss your stop!

I won't ruin the story for you by saying too much. It grabs you straight from the start when you wonder where Nancy is and what has happened to her. Finding out she is in a clinic having been seriously ill and deeply shocked by the murder of her parents and an attack on herself which should have left her dead, she decides to make herself strong and once released from the clinic, she sets out to investigate the crime herself having no faith in the well meaning inspector who tries to help her. Uncovered facts closer to home she is struggling to recall may hold the key...

This is a gripping read and I loved the author's grim Scottish humour which made me laugh aloud at times. Read this! You won't be disappointed. Hurry up and write another one please Jenny!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

She Becomes You by O. G. Tomes

Well it didn't take me long to finish this! Right from the very first page you are inextricably committed to this book and you consume the words with a grisly fascination.

The book was very well written and I felt the grief and sense of loss experienced by Amy, the writer you are first introduced to. I won't say much more for fear of ruining it for other readers. Evil without conscience fill the pages of this book.

I'm surprised at O. G. Tomes as she seems such a nice lady on Twitter! Having read this book, I would think twice about inviting her round for a cup of tea in case the evil spirit within is unleashed on me!

This is definitely a great read but shiveringly frightening at the same time. I look forward to the next book with trepidation!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Vengeance Wears Black by Seumas Gallacher

Another action packed thriller!

This is the second in the Jack Calder series. For anyone who likes their reading material fast paced and no nonsence, this is definitely for you!

There is no messing about here. Seumas grabs you by the throat and won't let go until you reach the end. No waiting for the wheels of justice to run their slow and tedious course. Jack and his ISP colleagues get straight in there to get vengeance and of course, they always wear black.

This is a good, satisfying read where the bad guys always get their comeuppance.

The world is safe from the villains, for a little while anyway.

Friday, September 14, 2012

25 Years at Solihull Council

Dear All,

After I'd taken my O' Levels way back in 1987, I had that lovely long Summer stretching ahead of me before going on to do my A' Levels at King Edwards for Girls in Kings Heath. My summer holiday job at Beatties (now House of Fraser) fell through (in the ladies' shoe department so thank God for that!) and I ended up working here for nothing for a bit of work experience in the old Data Control section. This was thanks to my father as there was no way he was going to have me sitting around the house for six weeks doing nothing! Thanks Dad....

The rest as they say, is history. I started permanently here as a Data Control Assistant exactly 25 years ago today and never went back to any school.

Well, I am still here and I really mean it when I say I am glad about it and hope I'm still here in another 25 years.

Now the serious bit - please forgive me if I don't get the flags out, throw parties and buy cakes etc. The fact I lost dad just over six months ago (Thursday the 8th of March) makes me not feel right about celebrating. He would have been so pleased and proud that I had lasted this long and have not been sacked in disgrace!

Please believe me when I say I am glad to be here. Everything important that has happened to me in my life (apart from being born) has been while I have been working for SMBC.

It just feels wrong to be going wild right now.

Thank you all very much.

Monday, July 30, 2012

All that glitters is not gold?

The Vanity Game - HJ Hampson

A great read during which I almost felt I was reading a Jackie Collins novel initially. The reader feels like a voyeur, glimpsing the lives of the rich and famous whose good looks or talent allow them to have lifestyles where they can do anything with no penalty to pay. Is that true?

I really don't want to say much more! Read this book. It's so dark and quite terrifying, not like I initially thought at all. Hampson tells the story so well that you drift from outrage to almost sympathy and back again seamlessly. It's a very clever book and makes you wonder if this could ever happen.

I was going to call my review 'Horrific Brilliance' and that is equally true.

Loved it. Excellent. 5 stars are well deserved here.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Speech for Dad

I was going to stand here today and read one of the many poems which are traditional on these occasions; you know the sort of thing, 'Do not stand at my grave and weep.......' but weeping is exactly what I would have done before I'd reached the end of the first verse.


Instead, I'd like to start by thanking you so much for coming here today. We really appreciate it and I know dad does too. Dad loved his golf! It was one of the main reasons my parents retired here to beautiful Ayr, away from the stresses and strains associated with city life in Birmingham. Dad never took anything here for granted. He would never tire of looking out of the living room window enjoying the emerging spring flowers or the squirrels and birds in the trees. Of course, he would rant at the television - he had strong views on many things - or he'd wave my umbrella at the seagulls getting a little too close for comfort, but he loved his life and saw the best in everything and everyone. It's a pity it's taken his passing for me to fully realise that.


If there is one lesson I have learned over the past few days, it's to stop being so negative! So, I'm telling you!
Appreciate everything and don't ruin the present worrying about the future or regretting the past. These are things you cannot change. There is nothing wrong with making plans, but please don't spend too much time looking forward (or back).


Above all, don't forget to tell people you love them. Life is a gift. Make the most of it. Let's try to be glad for my dad's wonderful life as he tees off on that great golf course in the sky.